Courage is being scared to death
and saddling up anyway.
~ John Wayne
I never realized how fear controlled my life until I identified Impostor Syndrome and exposed Delilah's lies. I associated comfort zone with ... comfort, until I recognized it was a trap.
When I taught writing to middle-schoolers, I used the book Courage (Bernard Waber) to help explain the term show vs tell. This picture book identifies courage in all its forms: everyday courage, such as getting your first haircut or saying I'm sorry ... to extraordinary courage like skydiving or bungee jumping.
I don't crave death-defying adventure so my comfort zone can serve me well in that area. And while I despise snakes, I am not afflicted with any paralyzing phobias.
But the fear of rejection is a powerful force in my life.
I don't call people for fear I might interrupt something important, or worse, they might not want to talk to me.
I don't try "fun" new things for fear I might look like a fool, or worse, incompetent.
I don't eat alone at a restaurant (or go to the movies alone) for fear total strangers might find me pathetic (doesn't she have any friends?)
I don't drive to new places on my own for fear I might get lost - or head the wrong direction on a one-way street.
You get the idea.
Delilah not only keeps me in my comfort zone, she reinforces it with steel walls. She tells me this is essential to a pain-free existence: No risk = no failure.
But I don't think this is where God wants me to live. He does not expect perfection - He only asks for obedience. Comfort zones rely solely on my strength. God wants me to be brave, step outside the box, and rely on Him.
When I taught writing to middle-schoolers, I used the book Courage (Bernard Waber) to help explain the term show vs tell. This picture book identifies courage in all its forms: everyday courage, such as getting your first haircut or saying I'm sorry ... to extraordinary courage like skydiving or bungee jumping.
I don't crave death-defying adventure so my comfort zone can serve me well in that area. And while I despise snakes, I am not afflicted with any paralyzing phobias.
But the fear of rejection is a powerful force in my life.
I don't call people for fear I might interrupt something important, or worse, they might not want to talk to me.
I don't try "fun" new things for fear I might look like a fool, or worse, incompetent.
I don't eat alone at a restaurant (or go to the movies alone) for fear total strangers might find me pathetic (doesn't she have any friends?)
I don't drive to new places on my own for fear I might get lost - or head the wrong direction on a one-way street.
You get the idea.
Delilah not only keeps me in my comfort zone, she reinforces it with steel walls. She tells me this is essential to a pain-free existence: No risk = no failure.
But I don't think this is where God wants me to live. He does not expect perfection - He only asks for obedience. Comfort zones rely solely on my strength. God wants me to be brave, step outside the box, and rely on Him.
My grace is sufficient for you,
for my power is made perfect in weakness.
2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)
You know...eating alone used to be one of my BIG no-nos. What WOULD people think of that obviously lonely person with no friends?
ReplyDeleteBut over the last few years, I've discovered how much I love taking myself to lunch. I get to pick where without considering anyone else's tastes. I can read a book or watch people.
In fact, I did it three different days while I was in DC last week, and the maitre d at one of the places complimented me on my choice to treat myself to lunch - and called me a rock star for doing so.
I so admire your courage, Deb - and it's nice to know the maitre d as well. Perhaps one of my 2018 goals will be treat myself to a solo dinner on the town :)
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