Friday, October 27, 2017

Day 27: Affirmations to combat Impostor Syndrome

Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good
we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.
~ William Shakespeare

Lately, I've done a bit of research into the anti-villain. I'm thinking of writing a novel about Delilah and I need to develop her fictional character.

I was sharing this idea with a friend, who cautioned me about writing a story from the antagonist's point of view. Readers struggle to feel empathy for a villain.

Her words caused me to sit up and take notice. Not that I questioned her writing advice, but I questioned her assessment of Delilah. Is she a villain?!

I've always thought of Delilah as a good friend. Sure, she may use strong language to keep in my place, but her intentions are good. She just wants to protect me. Doesn't she?

But if Delilah's harsh criticism manifests itself as Impostor Syndrome - and Impostor Syndrome is all about self-doubt - then doesn't that make Delilah a traitor? Has she not betrayed me and prevented me from living a full life?

I am a "good" girl. I strive to do what is right. I obey the rules. But lately the rules seem too rigid, the criticism too harsh, and the rewards too few.

I've reached the point where I must either quit striving - or sever ties with the one who keeps me bound by legalistic thinking. I do not want to grow weary of doing good - it is a part of my DNA. But I also want an abundant life filled with joy, adventure, and love.

So I guess the choice is clear: Delilah, I will always care for you, but I don't think we can be friends anymore.

Let us not grow weary of doing good,
for in due season we will reap,
if we do not give up.
Galatians 6:9 (ESV)

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