Day 31: Affirmations to combat Impostor Syndrome

The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.

~ Joseph  Campbell

Thank you for joining me on this month of learning self-acceptance.

I'm not sure there is a cure for Impostor Syndrome, but daily positive affirmations help silence the lies and recognize God's truth: we are loved - we are accepted - we have value.

Day 30: Affirmations to combat Impostor Syndrome

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It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.

~ e. e. cummings

We are coming to the end of this October blogging challenge, and I can think of no better quote to sum up the month.

• Don't allow fear to sabotage your life. 
• Embrace the imperfect - for in our weakness God is made strong.
• Celebrate your God-given talents.
• Acknowledge your accomplishments.
• Share your passion with the world.
• Don't buy into the lie that humility is self-deprecation.
• Don't judge others... including yourself. 
• Remember comparison is the thief of joy.
• Accept God's unconditional love for you.
• Everyone is worthy and has value simply because they exit.

Day 29: Affirmations to combat Impostor Syndrome

Courage is being scared to death

and saddling up anyway.

~ John Wayne

I never realized how fear controlled my life until I identified Impostor Syndrome and exposed Delilah's lies. I associated comfort zone with ... comfort, until I recognized it was a trap.

When I taught writing to middle-schoolers, I used the book Courage (Bernard Waber) to help explain the term show vs tell. This picture book identifies courage in all its forms: everyday courage, such as getting your first haircut or saying I'm sorry ... to extraordinary courage like skydiving or bungee jumping.

I don't crave death-defying adventure so my comfort zone can serve me well in that area. And while I despise snakes, I am not afflicted with any paralyzing phobias.

But the fear of rejection is a powerful force in my life.

Day 28: Affirmations to combat Impostor Syndrome

You are never too old to set another goal

or to dream a new dream.

~ C. S. Lewis

My mother was fond of quoting trite axioms. One of which was, There is a fine line between being  'too young to know' and 'old enough to know better.'

In other words, the young are ignorant and not as knowledgeable as they think. But ignorance is also bliss... a luxury old age cannot claim.

Day 27: Affirmations to combat Impostor Syndrome

Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good
we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.
~ William Shakespeare

Lately, I've done a bit of research into the anti-villain. I'm thinking of writing a novel about Delilah and I need to develop her fictional character.

I was sharing this idea with a friend, who cautioned me about writing a story from the antagonist's point of view. Readers struggle to feel empathy for a villain.

Her words caused me to sit up and take notice. Not that I questioned her writing advice, but I questioned her assessment of Delilah. Is she a villain?!

Day 26: Affirmations to combat Impostor Syndrome

A dream is a wish your heart makes.

~ Walt Disney

I've dreamed of international travel since second grade - the first year I took French as a foreign language. It was also the year I met one of my parent's friends who just returned from his junior year abroad. I remember sitting on his bed looking at all the postcards, listening to his adventures, and vowing I was going to do that one day.

That dream became a reality my junior year of high school. For three glorious weeks, I traveled with fifteen other students to the south of France where we lived with French families, attended French school, and immersed ourselves in the French culture.

I loved every minute and the experience whet my appetite for more.

Day 25: Affirmations to combat Impostor Syndrome

By happy with what you have

while working for what you want.

~ Helen Keller

Perfectionism sets up so many dichotomies.

We strive for excellence, but we are not happy with anything less than perfect.

We long for happiness, but we are never content with our current situation. We know there is always need for improvement.

Day 24: Affirmations to combat Impostor Syndrome

I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection.
Excellence I can reach for; perfection is God's business

~ Michael J Fox

I remember watching Michael J. Fox on Family Ties. He was cute. He was funny. But philosophical?!

For as long as I can remember, I've considered excellence and perfection synonymous. I strive for excellence but wince if I fall short of perfection.

Unfortunately, I applied these same strict standards to anyone who crossed my path: spouse, children, students, friends.

But here is the objective definition of both words...

Day 23: Affirmations to combat Impostor Syndrome

You don't have to see the whole staircase,

just take the first step.

~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

But what if ... ?!

Those are always the first words out of my mouth when faced with any decision.

Several years ago I proclaimed I hated the word adventure. When I think of that word, I conjure up images of Peter Pan and his death-defying encounters with crocodiles and Captain Hook. Adventure symbolizes risks I am not willing to take.

Day 22: Affirmations to combat Impostor Syndrome

By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.

~ Benjamin Franklin

I've discussed planning for the past few days. Perhaps I've needed to focus on a perceived strength to combat Delilah's constant barbs of unworthiness.

But you know what? She even tries to sabotage these positive thoughts.

Sure, Molly, she chides. No one disputes your planning ability. But do you have to be so rigid? Can't you loosen up a bit? Do you have to be so set in your ways - so demanding?

Day 21: Affirmations to combat Impostor Syndrome

A goal without a plan is just a wish.

~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

I am goal-oriented. Dangle that carrot in front of my nose and I will doggedly follow.

As I discussed yesterday, I am also a planner. I need the comfort of a schedule to combat the inadequacy of feeling like a fraud. I may fall short in other areas but at least I can stay on task.

I find Saint-Exupery's quote thought-provoking. Not that I disagree with his truth, but I question my life. I am a planner. I am goal-driven. But do I dream?! Dare I make a wish?

Day 20: Affirmations to combat Impostor Syndrome

Plans are useless, but

Planning is indispensable.

~ Dwight D. Eisenhower

I make no apologies: I am a planner.

I love to make schedules (and adhere to them). I thrive on journals and to-do lists. I carry my bullet journal with me at all times and make constant reference to the week's activities.

One of my favorite artist dates is to visit the local office supply store and wander the aisles. I salivate at the array of colorful post-it notes, paper clips, and pens.

Day 19: Affirmations to combat Impostor Syndrome

The meaning of life is to find your gift.

The purpose of life is to give it away.

~ Pablo Picasso

Before I retired my life purpose was clearly defined by my profession: to teach.

While Impostor Syndrome did not allow me to recognize the accomplishment, I did recognize the purpose. The reason I got up in the morning was to instill the value of language. We read literature to discover truth about the human condition. We wrote essays to learn the value of clear communication. I enjoyed teaching despite feelings of inadequacy.

Day 18: Affirmations to combat Impostor Syndrome

Either we let self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy 
prevent us from realizing our potential,
or embrace the fact that when we turn our attention
away from ourselves, our potential is limitless.
~ Christopher Reeve

Those of us who suffer from low self-esteem rarely boast of our accomplishments. Instead, we discount them, fearing we aren't good enough. We constantly compare our efforts with others (and fall short) and we are overly concerned about their opinions (which we imagine are derogatory and critical). Isn't it ironic?! I desperately try to avoid pride when in fact I am constantly self-absorbed. 

Day 17: Affirmations to combat Impostor Syndrome

If a man does not keep pace with his companions,

perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.

Let him step to the music which he hears,

however measured or however far away.

~ Henry David Thoreau

I like Thoreau's eloquent expression of truth. We should accept ourselves for who we are - not conform to what others think we should be. We should not fear our unique personality but embrace it. We should trust our instincts and not second-guess every decision.

Of course, this is not as easy as it sounds. If we don't go along with the crowd, we risk rejection.

My high school experience validated this hypothesis.

Day 16: Affirmations to combat Impostor Syndrome

It's not what you are that holds you back,

It's what you think you are not.

~ Denis Waitley

Today marks the half-way point in this blog challenge. I'm starting to repeat myself - and I don't think that's necessary.

What IS necessary is the repetition of positive affirmation to combat negative self-talk. I hope to maintain that habit for the rest of my days.

In this post, I will explain how the series began. And perhaps remaining posts will focus more on the quotes rather than my redundant life story.

Day 15: Affirmations to combat Impostor Syndrome

The only person you should try to be better than,

is the person you were yesterday.

~ Matty Mullins

As I shared earlier this month, I do not enjoy playing games because of my competitive nature. A more accurate statement might be... because of my comparative nature.

I don't care so much about winning or losing, but I do compare my performance to others. Did I appear foolish, ignorant, or out-of-shape? 

Runners seem to embrace a healthy mindset. Each race is an opportunity to improve their time from the last one. Each practice run is an opportunity to push a little farther than the day before. Runners don't receive scores for form or technique. They simply run with the goal of achieving a new personal best.

Day 14: Affirmations to combat Impostor Syndrome

Comparison is the thief of joy.

~ Theodore Roosevelt

Comparison robs us of joy in two distinct ways.

1. Comparison forces us to choose a winner and a loser --- a better and a worse. If we view ourselves as better, arrogance follows. If we view ourselves as worse, discouragement gains a stronghold. Neither attitude benefits character development. In some circumstances, this also hinders our life's purpose. We quit because we aren't good enough - forgetting our efforts can still benefit others.

2. Comparison, especially when we fall short, negates gratitude. We complain about what we don't have or what we cannot accomplish. We discount our abilities rather than offering thanks for the blessings in life.

Day 13: Affirmations to combat Impostor Syndrome

Don't compare your beginnings

to someone else's middles.

~ Jon Acuff

Or in my case... don't compare your beginnings to someone else's masterpiece.

A few years ago I decided to take photography more seriously. I've always taken pictures of family gatherings, special events, and travel adventures, but I wanted more than snapshots. I wanted photographs.

This didn't seem like such an undertaking. Afterall, the camera does the work, right? All I needed to do was learn a few composition techniques and I was good to go. Or so I thought.

But the more I read and studied, the more I realized I did not know.

Day 12: Affirmations to combat Impostor Syndrome

A flower does not think of competing to

the flower next to it, it just blooms.

~ Zen Shin

I recently returned from a blogging hiatus. In my introductory post, I talked about my life in transition: I'm in between teaching and retirement - motherhood and grandparent - writing as a calling or a hobby.

Transition is at times exciting and terrifying. On the one hand, I have the freedom to choose my next path. I have the time (and some finances) to follow my passions and create new adventures. I dream of living in exotic locations for months at a time. My mind is filled with new book ideas. I desire to give back to my community through volunteer work.

But what if...? Delilah asks. And I become paralyzed.