Saturday, October 21, 2017

Day 21: Affirmations to combat Impostor Syndrome

A goal without a plan is just a wish.
~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

I am goal-oriented. Dangle that carrot in front of my nose and I will doggedly follow.

As I discussed yesterday, I am also a planner. I need the comfort of a schedule to combat the inadequacy of feeling like a fraud. I may fall short in other areas but at least I can stay on task.

I find Saint-Exupery's quote thought-provoking. Not that I disagree with his truth, but I question my life. I am a planner. I am goal-driven. But do I dream?! Dare I make a wish?

IF I allow myself to think into the future - to imagine possibilities - they are deeply grounded in reality. Family members may joke about making the bestseller list... but my "dream" is to sell ten copies.

Unrealistic expectations, I've learned, only yield frustration and discouragement.

Delilah has convinced me dreams are for children and Disney animated movies. In the adult world, it is best to shoot low and avoid disappointment. It will hurt less.

Once again I believed her lies. Will all dreams come true? Of course not. But should that prevent me from ever trying? The Great Gretzky would say no. He would dare me to dream because there are few certainties in life,  except of course, ... you will miss 100% of the shots you do not take.

But Delilah tells me I am a failure if I don't make all the shots. On the rare occasion I risk trying... she chastises. What were you thinking?! She tells me to crawl back into my hole, lick my wounds, and vow never to try again.

Why am I so afraid of a little failure? Why is the pain of disappointment so paralyzing?

I think it is because my trust is misplaced. I believe Delilah's lies rather than have faith in God's love. It is time to work on proper realignment by taking a few practice shots.

Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love,
for in you I trust.
Make me know the way I should go,
for to you I lift up my soul.
Psalm 143:8 (ESV)

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