Journaling: L = Love

Love: for self and others.

Let's first discuss how to show love to self.

If you are a perfectionist like myself... self-love is a difficult concept. We are constantly finding areas in which we fall short of the mark, rather than rejoicing in our victories.

Perfectionism dictates we use complete sentences with proper English grammar. Perfectionism causes us to pay more attention to punctuation than content. Perfectionism is deadly.

The antidote to perfectionism is Grace. We must learn to treat ourselves, our thoughts, and our fragile emotions with compassion and care. 

Misspell a word? So what! Cross it out, rewrite it, and move on. Better yet, keep it as is. It’s a gentle reminder that we aren’t perfect and that’s okay.

Rules are non-existent in journaling. You don’t have to start at the beginning, and you don’t have to stop at the end. Simply write until you no longer feel the need to write anymore and put it away. Trust yourself to pick it up again when timing is right.

Perfectionism also attacks in more subtle ways. We think we need to journal a certain number of pages for it to count as true journaling. Or we need to experience an epiphany or a-ha moment for our journaling session to be successful.

This kind of thinking only serves to sabotage our efforts.

Come to the journaling page with no expectations except a desire to honor your inner voice and allow it to be heard.

So how can you show love to others in your journals?

As I alluded to in the post on Expressive Journaling... writing letters can be therapeutic.

Letter to Someone Else:

Sometimes discursive thought is not directed toward ourselves but someone else. Perhaps this involves others who have hurt us in the past. They have moved on with life, but we are stuck in the pain. We want them to ask for forgiveness. We want them to apologize. But their words never come.

Here’s the thing about harboring anger, resentment, and hatred. It has no affect on the intended party, but continues to rob us of a joy-filled life and emotional well-being.

Isn’t it time to release that toxic build-up and move on?

Writing a letter to someone else is the perfect prescription.

Understand, however, the benefit comes from writing - not from sending. This is not necessarily a letter that will find its recipient. In fact, burning the letter once it is written is often a fitting conclusion. The purpose is to write what you need to release. 

Letter from Someone Else to you:

Sometimes it is beneficial to write a letter we desperately want to receive. Perhaps a letter from a deceased loved one whom we need to have final closure. We need to hear one last time how much they loved us - or how sorry they are for hurting us. Circumstances dictate this can never happen… but we can fill that void.

Write a letter to yourself filled with the words you need to hear. 

Interestingly, writing from this point of view often gives us a clearer understanding of the other person’s point of view. We may not agree with that view; we may not like that view; but we can gain an appreciation for what they might have experienced in life.

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LOVE. It is most often the answer to our conflicts and problems.

The next post in this Journaling series: M is for Morning Pages.