My mom was hospitalized again on Friday - released on Tuesday - showing signs of mental strain on Wednesday. I seem to be pulled in many directions and none are conducive to self-discovery. I will quickly post the meditative question for the week, but not sure I will be able to give any kind of response.
Sometimes taking flight means letting go; letting go takes faith; faith takes letting go; it all requires wings....This year I needed to let go of a project I had been holding on to, one that was lucrative, but deflected my attention from my real work. I needed to really let it go, not pretend to let it go, or hold on to vestiges of it to keep me comfortable (page 147 in the Intuition section)
Is there something "good" that you are holding on to that is perhaps keeping you from experiencing something "great"? This truly deserves meditative thought - and I will try to do so later this week (hopefully)....
Hmmmm....that's a pretty deep question and contemplation possibility, Molly. I do know that I struggled with my decision to leave my library job at the end of last year. When I took it, I thought I would stay until retirement age of 60+. However, life had other plans and I'm happy to be home now, at least for a time. I think I needed some time to deal with the last few months of my mother's life and now to focus more on making some other things a habit with me (like yoga and other exercise). Thanks for giving me something new to consider.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry about your Mom. You take care and be kind to yourself. I knnow it's hard and this brings up all kind of emotions, some of them not so pleasant. There was time that I did journaling and it was very helpful to me with putting lots of different thoughts and emotions on paper. It was very cathartic. Keeping you in my thoughts.
First of all, I wouldn't worry about our reactions to this meme. My impression has been that people are away on vacation, distracted by summer things...I'm not even sure if I made it by here last week. It is the hardest thing on earth right now to get to all the posts I want to! That could be my first "letting go" (not trying to get through all posts every day when I'm on vacation) and your first "letting go" would be not to worry about our reactions! If it resonates with you, that is all that matters.
ReplyDeleteSo anyway. I agree that letting go, for a control freak like me, it a huge leap of faith. I'm really BAD at it. I guess my biggest action of letting go this summer has been with my kids. Allowing them to experience things that I'm scared to let them experience. Letting my daughter stay at home by herself, letting my son play tackle football, letting him skeet shoot with my dad...these are all big hang ups for a controlling mom.
Your posts always enlighten me, Molly, and make me think and dig a little deeper. I imagine you as a teacher of emerging adults and how you must inspire some of them. Letting go. hmmm There is a great deal I need to let go. This week I had to give up a day of posting. I was exhausted and needed some time to just be. It was hard for me because I love to ramble on, but, just that one day gave me some locked up energy.
ReplyDeleteKay's advice to journal is a good one. Doing so has helped me through rough spots - as well as pleasant ones. My thoughts are with your mom, and you.
I'm so sorry about your mom. Take time to breathe and care for yourself too.
ReplyDeleteAnd give yourself permission to relax about the meme too. If you have too much on your plate allow yourself to let go of the rubber balls while holding onto the glass balls. You can only juggle so much in life.
Take care. I'm thinking of you and your family.
I've been reading your blog with great interest. We are so much alike, I'm your 8-year older twin. No kidding. I have struggled with "letting go" of my blog. It could be so much bigger than it is; I could have so many more blogging friends, but time is limited, and one has to make choices. My lifelong dream has been to be a published writer of YA fiction. I have struggled with the limiting belief that I need to make other people happy before I can pursue my own dreams. It's obvious that you are "suffering" from the same limiting belief. If you let that go, you might find that your mental attitude about everything transforms. It's a very difficult belief to let go of. I simply adore your blog, but I'd still keep reading it, even if you blogged only twice a week. Attend to your own self-care. (That's what I need to tell myself as well.)I am so over-scheduled that I strategize almost every minute of my day. As of late, I have been trying to fit in time to do a spiritual practice. I've found I can do it for 30 minutes on my lunch break at work. Well, I have rambled on and on ...
ReplyDeleteHi Molly. Thank you for visiting my blog and leaving a message. I can empathise with how you are feeling just now. My comment about not thinking is deeply personal. Eckhart Tolle's books were an enlightenment for me!
ReplyDeleteYou ask about doodling. I have doodled for years without much thought but lately I've realised how contemplative and calming it is. It is a wonderful way ..for me anyway..to reach into the right side of my brain.
Have you come across zentangles? Rick and Maria? I have a link on my blog list. They have created a movement out of doodling. Check them out. Keep blogging..give up "thinking" relax. I love your blog. Love Joan
So sorry to hear about your mom's setback. I'm sure this is so difficult for you and for her. Thinking of you and hoping things gets easier.
ReplyDeleteSometimes summer isn't the easiest time to meditate quietly ... I know I'm not having luck with it.
I'm looking forward to hearing more of your thoughts on this one later in the week (if you get the time)....so sorry to hear about your mom....deep breaths, deep breaths.
ReplyDeleteI understand how you feel about this book and the meme. It has been a good idea and I've enjoyed the question each week. If you feel the need to let it go, I am okay with that.
ReplyDeleteAs women we have so many people we feel responsible for (the love ceiling) and sometimes the emotional pressure is very great. One of the responses to that pressure is the need to control it all. I certainly struggle with that issue. My mother's declining health is an issue for me as well. I've had to tell myself, repeatedly, to let go. My own force of will can not keep her healthy or alive forever.
I know you will do what is necessary for your mom but I also hope you take time for yourself as well. I'm glad others have mentioned journaling. It's been an enormous help to me. I highly recommend it.
I'll keep you and your mom in my prayers.
I do hope things get better for your mother, Molly. I know it can't be easy for you, being pulled in so many directions.
ReplyDeleteWhen I first read the passage and question, I drew a blank. The more I think about it though--yes, I do think there is something. I'm only at the beginning stages of letting go. I'm not sure yet though whether it will turn out to be "great" in place of "good". I hope so and I imagine it will be in its own way. What I'm stuck on right now though is how different it will be, how different my life will be.
I hadn't really thought of it in terms of letting go, and yet that's exactly what I'm doing. It's so hard too--leaving behind what I'm comfortable with. It's scary and exciting all at once.
Anyhow, I'm thinking of you and sending good vibes your way.
I know I have trouble letting go. I keep thinking I have moved on sometimes, but then subconsciously I go back to whatever that was. It sure takes a lot of courage to move on and let go of things.
ReplyDeleteOn a personal note, I hope your mother is doing better now. I hope you are also doing better.