Random Thoughts/Rants

As I just logged on I realized that I have not posted to this blog since April 16 --- nearly four months ago!  It is not that I have not thought about posting, or thought about my blogging friends, but I have had a very difficult time sorting through all my thoughts on this subject.  So here is my public summary of all those voices that have uttered their opinions in my head.

I love writing!!  I came to that knowledge late in life through the amazing teaching of Tilly Warnock and the Breadloaf School of English.  For over 16 months now I have participated in the 750words community - writing my three pages of stream-of-consciousness as Julia Cameron advocates in her famous book, The Artist's Way.  This has definitely become a habit and I almost need to do this on a daily basis as much as I need to breathe or eat or sleep.  I have continued to hone this craft of writing by journaling my daily devotions and daily prayers. Through this exercise I have learned that I think through writing - I process life through writing - I learn to live a better life through writing.  What I write may not be of interest to anyone else but me - but that is enough.

I have just finished an online writing class from the spectacular author/instructor, Patti Digh.  Some of you may remember my series of summer writing prompts that I provided from her book, Life is a Verb.  She offered a writing class for teachers this summer - and what a wonderful class this was.  Not only did I learn a lot about myself - and my need to write - but I learned that I am not alone.  There are several of us that bonded over these internet waves and we hope to continue this bond throughout the school year.

I like writing for an audience.  Yes, it is true.  As introverted as I may be, there is something that excites me when I think others may read what I write.  It makes me better - it causes me to be more reflected and more intentional.  I need to blog because I think blogging helps to make me a better Molly

BUT....blogging has all kinds of responsibilities attached to it.  I LOVE to visit your blogs - to learn what is going on in your life - to share in your joys and sorrows.  BUT...it takes so much time.  One of the primary reasons I quit blogging was because I was spending nearly two hours every day reading other blogs and posting comments - because I wanted you to know that I cared.  And I do...but I just don't have fourteen spare hours in a week to devote to this "hobby".

BUT...I dealt with this conflict by running - and as I am learning in life - running away is never the solution.  I could not afford the time I was spending - so I opted to spend no time.  No time reading blogs (or books, for that matter)....and no time writing on my own blog.  And I have missed it

And then there is the issue of the blog name:  My Cozy Book Nook.  I began this blog because I was afraid that I would run out of personal topics, but I figured I would never run out of books.  SO...why not start a book blog?  The problem?!  I have discovered that reading is but one of my passions in life --- a very big passion, mind you, but not a sole passion.  And I have created this arbitrary boundary that My Cozy Book Nook should only be about books - and not about me.  HOGWASH I say....as many of you have tried to tell me in the past - this is my blog and I can do what I want.  And while I still love my nook - and I do have a lot of books in this nook - I also have a lot of other hobbies that I pursue in this private space:  photography and writing and scrapbooking and card making and just general thinking.

I have spent the past year taking several online classes - mostly centered around writing and photography, but too many to name at the moment.  Suffice it to say I have discovered that I have a true PASSION for writing.  I excel in these classes - not excel in terms of talent, but excel in terms of participation and relating to others and creating bonds that will last.  I have an interest in photography - but it is only that, an interest.  I am not passionate about it.  But here's the thing:  THAT IS OK.  My photography can enhance my writing --- my writing will always take center stage.

And while I may not write fiction (to me, fiction = creative) --- My writing is me.  It is what I need to do in order to fulfill my purpose.  And I am ready to finally live my own life - not the one that I think I should live - or I think others want me to live - or I think my parents would want me to live.  But rather - I am ready to lead the life that I feel God is calling to me live.

I anticipate that I will lose subscribers to my blog.  And while there was a time in my life when that was important, I must admit that now I have learned that this type of comparison is counter-productive to me.  I love you all - I want to be in contact with you all - but I first must be in contact with me.  Does that make sense?

So, My Cozy Book Nook is now back in business.  Not in the business of regular book reviews.  And not in the business of gaining followers - but rather, in the business of being authentic.  Because that is what God is calling me to do.