Journaling Discoveries

Last week I mentioned the book, A Writer's Book of Days by Judy Reeves, that really resonated with me at this point in time.  I have read numerous books on the writing process, both with regards to writing fiction as well as non-fiction, and while I have several that are high on my recommendation list, the prompts listed in those books intimidate me.  It is as though they almost stifle my writing rather than foster it.  I think I need to try writing with training wheels before I start riding the "big bike."  This book by Judy Reeves has given me those training wheels.

I have strived to use these writing prompts every day this week and while I did not achieve that goal, I did manage to write 4 out of the 6 days and I refuse to beat myself up over the two missed days.  Even in this short time of routine writing to a focused prompt, I have discovered a few things about myself the writer.

1. There really isn't a "right" way to respond to a prompt.  For some reason I have been programmed since childhood (and most likely toddler-hood) that if you are going to do something, you should do it right.  Consequently my left-brained dominant mind has taken that generality in life and applied it to everything.  I still hear the whisper of "I don't think this is the right way to do it" - but I am trying to silence that voice during these writing sessions and just allow the pen to write from the spontaneous images that come to my mind.
2. Being a writer requires that the author be an observer - and being an observer requires that the author slow down and pay attention to the present.  This is tough for me as I have come to realize that I have held EFFICIENCY as the top priority in my life for several years.  I have always admired those who accomplish more than seems humanly possible.  Superwoman should exist, in my mind, and I have tried to emulate this fictional character for far too long.  My daytimer has been my lifeline - allowing me to keep track of all these tasks so that they are accomplished on time (or even early so that I can move on to the next task).  I look for ways to add more minutes to my day - not so that I can relax but so that I can do more.  But oh....what have I missed in all this running around?  And quite honestly, what have I accomplished at the expense of missing the little things in life?  I need to learn to slow down - to enjoy the moment - to look closely at nature and meditate on the simple pleasures of life, which definitely do not include all those multi-tasks on my to-do list.
3. If I allow myself to write long enough to follow the bunny trails of my subconscious mind, I can be surprised at the clarity it brings to life.  I must confess that this does not happen each day, but there is a element of mental cleansing that does feel refreshing at the end of each session.  Yesterday, however, I actually had an epiphany.  The prompt was simply "Life's Simple Pleasures" and I immediately started writing about reading, which led to shopping at bookstores.  I wrote quite a while on this - detailing the different interests I have cultivated over the past two years while reading blogs and browsing the shelves.  One of those interests included photography - which led to another simple pleasure in my life which is scrapbooking and card making.  In this moment of writing I bemoaned the fact that not only do I not have enough time to engage in these activities - but I really have no reason to make a card - to whom would I send it?  And then it dawned on me --- my mother!!!  I have experienced such guilt not calling her or visiting her as much as I think I "should" .... BUT....my mom LOVES mail - I mean, she lives for the noon hour when she can go to the mailbox.  If there is anyone who would appreciate a card, it would be my mother.  Why have I not thought of marrying these two activities before? I have no idea, but I am certain that I would not have developed this combination on my own; it was only through allowing the subconscious to guide the pen that led to this discovery.

So today I am going to make a card - or perhaps more.  Today I am going to enjoy the process of making the card, rather than rush to complete the task so that I can move on to the next one on the list.  Today I am going to write again and see where the pen takes me.  Today I am going to practice living in the present.